Hebden Bridge

I got to explore another English town in West Yorkshire thanks to Nancy from the Chinese Church who had organised a mini "race" to get us exploring around this morning. This town is Hebden Bridge and is about 50 minutes away by train from Leeds. The moment I reached the town area, Hebden Bridge instantly gave an impression that it's a fun town to be in. There are lots of car traffic going in and out in the road and lots of human traffic too on the pedestrian walkways. I see many families and kids in particular. The cars are not cheapo ones - they are the expensive Mercedes, Audis and convertibles. For a moment, it kinda gave off an impression that it's like Taiping, and at the same time modern too like Subang Jaya. I did some research on the Internet and found out that Hebden Bridge is actually a dormitory town - something like a residential town with the equivalents to Bangsar for Malaysia. It's usually where working people reside and the only difference with Hebden Bridge is that it's smaller and it has lots of steep slopes.

Nancy gave us a briefing on what to do and one of the areas that we are supposed to find was the grave of a female American poet who had commited suicide. Instantly, I started to scan my brain for all the female American poets that I know and Sylvia Plath was the only name that stood out. And indeed, it was her! Woahhh! That was a really an unexpected find! Her grave is actually located at the nearby village of Heptonstall which is located on a hill overlooking Hebden Bridge. So, we had to climb up a grueling slope to reach the top of the hill where Heptonstall church is located. It houses lots of old graves outside at the church compound but somehow, English graves are less scary than Chinese graves. lol. Sylvia Plath's grave is actually relocated to a new burial field outside of the church compound but nevertheless situated in a very nice open field. Ahhhh, as a former English Literature student myself, I felt honoured to visit one of the pilgrimage sites of a well renowned literary legend. There are still plenty more to visit, in particular the Bronte sisters in Haworth which is not that far from Leeds too and also Shakespeare's birthplace in Stratford upon Avon. Mhmmmm..I gotta list out all these local English places to visit after exams.

The tragic poet's grave

After the race, we stopped by for lunch at one of the shops there and I had Bacon and Brie paninis. Food pricing there is not too bad actually. In general, Hepden Bridge was more cheerful looking than Saltaire and food is definitely cheaper with more variety. I can't really explain it fully, but there's just this aura of cheerfulness that's surrounding Hebden Bridge. I noticed that there are also alot of freelance musicians and artists busking in the town area. I'm not sure whether it's the Spring weather or the characteristic of the town but I enjoyed myself thoroughly with the hike and sightseeing around the place. I love these kinds of trips. Given my own capacity, I wouldn't have known that such a place existed. It's a good weekend trip to destress before embarking on the long stretch of work throughout the week. =D

The town square

The first day of April

A sudden hint of mischievious thought descended onto my mind as I walked back to my room on Thursday night. I thought of clicking a button in my profile to change my relationship status for a day. Shortly after changing, I had private chat nudges coming in asking me to clarify the situation..lol. I didn't think that it would invite much reaction considering the day I had picked to change it but still most people are rather confused because I was being ambiguous in explaining. When I went for CG later on, I had to do a little explanation that I'm having a relationship withhhh....Jesus! xD

Anyways, in the age of modern Internet and technology, other websites are jumping in with their own April Fools too. Youtube had a 1911 mode where you can cover the video you are watching with a 1911 styled piano and film texture. It's quite funny and they also had the top 5 viral videos from 1911, with the Annoying Orange and Flugelhorn Feline (Keyboard Cat's ancestor! lol) inside too. Check it out below:



And then there's also Gmail Motion where you're supposed to be able to control your Gmail using real life movement. It was quite obvious that's a joke, butttt..apparently, somebody in Youtube showed that it's possible to do it using Microsoft Kinect sensors. Ahhhh..the horror: somebody's joke just became a reality!


And of course, one of most anticipated sequel to my favourite MMO which is Guild Wars 2, had something up their sleeves too: The introduction of the Commando race where you can call air strikes on your enemies..ahahaha! Geezzz..That'll be too imba..lol.

Have an enjoyable month of April ahead while I'm buried with more books and journals...argggghhhh!

Woahh..That's it?

It's finally the last seminar for the YEAR. I can't believe this. Classes and lectures in England are literally DONE for the YEAR. That's all the lectures that I paid for and it doesn't feel value for money out of a sudden..lol. Now all that's left is just dissertation and sitting for the exams. Woahh..seriously, what just happened? It felt as if I had just arrived in England yesterday. It really didn't feel like 23 weeks of classes have gone by. Anyways, my last seminar was evidence and evidently, the lecturer wasn't giving any hints on this one. There were 5 British girls in my seminar class and all 5 of them literally attempted to grind him and tried to squeeze some form of info from him. I thought for a moment that he was a witness being scrutinised by 5 lawyers ! There was some fierce questioning in motion and I just laughed in my head watching the fiasco. They were questioning him why family law and other subjects provide some tips on what kind of questions are coming out for each topic but nothing is given for evidence. In any case, he held his ground and just gave his Irish grin, stating that his hands are tied and he's not as nice as the other lecturers! Ishhh! That's so miserly :(

After class, I went back to have a rest before heading to the last Alpha session. There was a bit of a mix-up on the location, but in the end, I found out that it was at the Chaplaincy. Somehow, our last discussion ventured from just British churches to discussion on International Christians and then to the situation in Malaysia. One of the opinions given on the attitude of local Christians is that they are not inclined to make conversations because of the constant worry of "offending people" from a different background. It seems that the difficulty in forming fellowships extend also among their own circles. Hmmm..I guess its really a cultural thing and the response I get when speaking on such matters is that the local Christians are also remorseful once they are made aware of the way the typical Brit culture has become. I also gathered that local Brits who spend the year abroad also approach people differently in general.

Later on, it was Breathe social at the bowling center where the church apparently booked 9 lanes. My group had 8 people, so it took quite some time for us to finish our games. I went to the bar with some of them and we ended up engaging on a debate with someone on the table on where do Christians who commit suicide go. Well, in my view, salvation once given cannot be revoked. Anyways, it was quite a lengthy debate and the table started going on technicalities and discussing whether there's such thing as an unpardonable sin.

I spent the rest of the night rehearsing my guitar for CG. Mhmmm..it's exactly one month to my dissertation's date due. Minus some days for the London and Paris trip at the end of April, I have less than 30 days. I'm sweating already..ahh.

Blog design revamp!

As you can see, my visitors, that this blog has an extreme makeover thanks to the very talented iBan, Madonna Awa Anak Nobel. The reason why I've not changed from the default design since the creation of this blog is because I like the simplicity and organised layout that is provided by the basic design. I'm not good at designing a new one..and I'm certainly very lazy to adjust the html of the new blogskin to fit the organisation of the widgets that I have in mind. Well, after some tweaking and editing of font values of the redesigned skin, I'm satisfied in going ahead with the changes.

*drum rolls* It's time then for some new clothes! Kudos to the iBan again, and yea, it's unfortunate that she can't swindle any moolah out of me anytime soon because of the Atlantic Ocean xD

Honestly Speaking...

Yesterday my church in Leeds hosted a presentation made by Friends International, one of the Christian ministries in Leeds that are tasked to help out with international students. I met the head of the team in Leeds, Phil, at the Christian Union Living Room picnic last year in September. Since then, I've been meeting him from time to time to discuss about my experiences and give him feedback on the overall situation that International Christians face over here. So for yesterday Phil invited me to share my thoughts in the event yesterday through interview style and he told me that around 30-40 people will attend. When I was there, it was more like 50-60 people from different churches all around Leeds! lol..anyways, initially, I wanted to launch a tirade and a rant. I had already prepared what to say, but just before I got up to speak, God prompted me to go gentle instead and to rephrase some of the materials that I have prepared. Anyways, here's the full uncensored text that I would have said if there are no time limit or barriers. I used a majority of what I had prepared, with some tweaking and softening of the tone in the end..haha.

What was it like for you when you first came to Leeds? What 2 things did you notice were most different to back home?

I was quite excited when I first arrived because I’ve never travelled out of Southeast Asia before. The furthest I have been in my life is Vietnam. England was the first European country that I had stepped my foot on. The 2 Things that I noticed most was firstly, the highly unpredictable and variety of English weather. The sky’s always gloomy, it’s cold..sometimes it gets windy..there’s snow. There is so much to prepare for and wearing the right clothing is important. In Malaysia, there’s only sunny and rainy weather because it’s a tropical country.

The second thing I noticed about the British people is that social life revolves around alcohol. You can never take the beer out of the British. There’s drinking in almost all occasions, even after church meetings and Christian Union (CU). It was quite an amusing situation for me at first, when we have one of the Christian student leaders jumping up and telling the whole congregation that we are going to the bar/pub afterwards! We don’t have that much of drinking in Malaysia, and we only drink during special occasions like wedding or celebrations. Our fellowship revolves mainly around food because the hawker stalls and restaurants in Malaysia have opening hours until past midnight. We will chat the night away.

How warm/cold did you find people in the UK in general?

I would say that the people in the UK are very polite but not warm. Most are reserved and they rarely make the first move to introduce themselves unless they feel comfortable. Privacy seems to be a very important factor here and people don’t seem to be interested in knowing new people or forging new friendships. They can see the same people week and week out, and they are ok with not striking a single conversation. In the law school, interaction between local students and international students is almost close to zero. We don’t talk during lectures and during seminars, at the very most it’s academic. There’s not even an introduction of names when we are discussing in a seminar group. Even after staying here for close to half a year, I do not know alot of the local British here on a personal level.

How warm did you find people in the Living Room? (International students gathering by the CU)

The living room is one of the first contacts that I have with Christians in Leeds. On the first week, I went for the living room picnic and that was where I met Phil too. I found I always felt that the reception in the living room is always warm because most of the people helping out in there are prepared to engage and meet with international students. I don’t see the same level of engagement for international students from local students in the CU or the church. Most of the time, it’s as if the internationals are invisible and they are usually ignored and left alone by themselves. It was very hard for me to get acquainted with the people in the CU because people in general just stick to their cliques and chat among their groups. I only had the chance to know a few more people during the weekend away. I’m very blessed to know Tim Tucker, the previous president of the CU and I will always remember him for the initiative that he took. He invited me over to his house at the border of Wales and I spent a fantastic 4 days with his family over Christmas. I got to know his family members too and we shared personal experiences with each other. Tim Tucker is one of the few British Christians who’s willing to engage with me on such a personal level. Sad to say, most of the local Christians that I know end up only as a “hi and bye” friend whenever I see them.

What could international students who are Christians bring to local churches that are predominately British?

It will make a strong statement that Christianity transcends culture to both local and international students who have yet to know God. We show that Christianity is not a Western religion because Jesus is relevant in every culture and society. The Malaysian churches and African churches are worshipping the same Jesus that the English people know about. International Christians have different perspectives in reaching out to other internationals which the locals may not be familiar with in terms of language and culture. We present the gospel in a much digestible way which the locals may not have considered.

Here’s something which I felt that is neglected in the international students ministry in England. There are lots of outreaches for international students who have not heard the gospel before but there is little support for Christian international students. You’ll be surprised to know that the population of international Christians is quite sizeable. I can name at least 20-30 international Christians that I’ve acquainted with. We are everywhere. But why are they not seen to be participating actively around in British churches or the Christian Union? As far as I know about Malaysian Christians, most of them are all huddled up in the Chinese church for a couple of reasons. Mainly because of opportunity to serve and fellowship. Firstly, the level of fellowship and bonding from the local Christians are almost non-existent. Let’s take my church as an example. Every Sunday, there’ll always be a group of at least 5-6 International Christians in the church. But no one bothered to talk to them or get to know them better. I go to the small group sessions and Christian Union, and apart from the official activities, none of the local Christians actually bothered to contact me outside of the official activities. I’ll be honest here. It is simply not good enough to ask “how are you, how’s your week, how’s your studies”...or to organise one or two international events and there’s no follow-up. What sort of friendship is that? There is no way you’re going to cultivate a proper fellowship like this. Maybe for the first few weeks, it’s alright. But there are local Christians who have known me for 6 months and all they ask whenever they see me is “how are you and how’s your week.” And then *awkward silence*.

The presumption of all international students are non-Christians or that they don’t know about Christianity at all needs to stop. Throughout these 6 months, I find that the local Christians do not treat the International Christians as equal partners in ministry and very often, international Christians end up on the sideline as mere participants. Local Christians seem to assume in their mind that they can’t handle things or know the scriptures enough. Let me tell you, some of the international Christians studying over here are leaders of their respective churches back home. They have led worship, bible studies, prayer meetings and small groups. Some of us join national Christian conferences, organised massive scale evangelical rallies and are part of the Christian union committees back home. International Christians are uprooted from their Christian circle at home when they go abroad. When an International Christian comes to England to study, he wants to see his faith level increase and his walk with God strengthened and to meet with Christians whom he can form meaningful friendships with. But without the support of the local Christians in initiating fellowship, personal sharing and opportunities to serve, he’ll be a loner. You know Christian living is community living. Without close fellowship with local Christians, where can he find the passion to serve and grow spiritually? I could have chosen the easy path and join the rest of my fellow Malaysian Christians in the Chinese Church. Fellowship is good and there are plenty of opportunities to serve. But I’m determined to be patient and stick to a British church because I want to learn a different perspective from the local Christians during my short time of a year here. Every week, I return back to my room in disappointment because of the attitudes of the local Christians that I see. I try to think the local Christians as being different from the local non-Christians, but every week I’m proven wrong.

Some of you might think, we are British and that’s the way we are. But no, we need to rise above that. We need to rise above the stereotypical notion of our cultures and start to see ourselves as common citizens of God’s kingdom. Leeds is a very special place with so many different nationalities converging in the same place. When you say you want to share lives and share the love of Christ, can you afford to ignore the hundreds of International Christians that are in this city? He/She is also your brother and sister in Christ. You are part of the same family. You don’t even need to send missionaries to different countries. That one international Christian that you touched in Leeds could end up as a renowned evangelist in his home country. Never doubt the investment that you put in an international student. But it all has to start from the bottom - with genuine and sincere friendship which I find many of the local Christians are not willing to offer to the international Christians at this moment.

After I have spoken, there was a hush of silence as I walked back to my seat. All I was thinking at that point of time was, "Dear Lord, I hope I didn't make new enemies today!" After everything had ended, Phil's wife came to me to say that lots of the British folks standing behind appreciated the honest comments that I gave. A few of the British who were sitting near me also said the same thing. Jane, one of the new committee members in the Christian Union walked up to me to say that she appreaciated my feedback and will bring up the issue to the new CU committee during meeting. The most encouraging one was a Christian from Jordan who came up to me and said "You spoke exactly what my sentiments were! It's as if I'm actually up front and speaking the exact same things as u!" She encouraged me to continue speaking on this subject to every Brit that I meet, and said that the local Christians need to have this awareness and reminder every now and then. Wow, truly amazed at God's work! I didn't expect my speech to impact that many. I'm just thankful to be given this opportunity to speak for Him. Hmmmm..I guess that my Mama's hard-earned money to put me through law education ain't wasted at all to prepare me for moments like this.

The bottomline situation is this, the international student work which has been going on around in Leeds is impressive, with many China students getting to know the Gospel and going back home to tell others about Jesus. But I often find that for the International Students who are already long-time Christian, they are in a state of limbo. Very little work is being done to help them to settle down or get rooted into the local Christian community. They have already gone beyond the basic stages which most of the China Students are undergoing like who God is and what is the Bible etc. While it is good that international Christians join these activities to help to spread the Gospel, they also need spiritual food and fellowship to grow in their own faith. But if these International Students join the predominantly British Christian Union and churches, they get the proper teaching that they need but the fellowship component is often missing because the local Brits simply do not have the desire to welcome them into their social circles. I admit that the international workers do forge close friendships with the international students that they work with, but I noticed the pattern that it's only international students who do not know the Gospel. Hence, there's this very bizarre and ironical situation where, it is better for the International student NOT to know anything about Christianity so that they can have the opportunity to interact with the British. And for International students who have already known and accepted Christ, there seems to be nothing else that the local British Christian can offer. This, I feel, needs to stop going on if we are to regard ourselves as one a one united citizen in God's kingdom. For me, I felt that I can't just stand around being silent while injustices like this go around unnoticed.

Anyways, recently, I noticed that in these past few years, I'm inclined to advocate for different concerns and pushing for reforms on different fronts. There are undercover campaigns to reduce passivenes in Christian walk, active serving in church, planting seeds in people's life who have yet to know Christ in an effective way, having a Christ-centered path in the legal fraternity and law departments and right now, international Christians integrating with local Christians. At times, I do feel stretched fighting silently on so many different fronts alone and I often wonder whether there are those around me who share the same concerns or they had just chosen to ignore it. I felt the weight on my shoulders on these so many concerns that I have but yet I find myself not being able to fully commit to the full cause because of the studying commitments that I have. I hope that one day, when all these studying and academics are all gone, I'll have all the time and resources to campaign for all these things. As for now, I'm just grateful that God has given me strength to actually speak up on these things despite all the academic stuff that are piling up on me.

Draft Gaffe

Ughhh! I wanna shoot myself for wasting my final dissertation meeting with my supervisor. Thanks to some miscalculations and bad planning, I ended submitting my draft later than expected. Somehow I couldn't formulate the words that I wanted to put inside and this caused me to take a longer time to organise my thoughts. The time slot that I picked to meet my supervisor was wedged in between my jurisprudence class and the final year students photo taking session. I had to rush to the law school building after lunch. When I met my supervisor, she said she hadn't had the time to look at it and also because it was the weekend. So she had to read on the spot instead of properly perusing over it. I gathered that she managed to read through my first draft in the previous meeting because the previous meeting fell on a Tuesday instead of Monday.

I was constantly looking at the clock, having the dilemma of whether to stay longer to grab as much guidance as possible or to end it and rush to the library before the photo-taking session is over. In any case, there was only a limited amount which my supervisor could analyse on the spot and I was already smacking myself because if she had the proper time to look through it, more could be discussed. We ended on the dot like a few minutes before the meeting time for the photoshoot and I had to make another mad dash down to the library steps. Thankfully, the photoshoot was still on because the photographer was still busy arranging people..lol. After the photoshoot, there's supposed to be Evidence lecture but the evidence lecturer apparently ended his session with just 15 minutes! Ahhhhh! If I had known better that he'll do that, I would have scheduled my dissertation meeting during that slot. Or any other time for that matter so that my supervisor could have gotten a good read of what I have written! And then I thought that I should have suggested another day to meet her once I have gotten to know she had not read it yet. Argghhhhh..Too slow and too late for such an idea! Why didn't I thought of it earlier?!..I've just wasted the last opportunity for free tips and hints. I could still e-mail my supervisor, but only questions on technicality can be asked and not about the content. Oh wellll, looks like Stan gotta continue the rest of his dissertation in the dark with his eyes blindfolded :(

Half-closed door

It's a week now and there's still no answer. The results of the Bar Course application was supposed to be out last week but for every of the Malaysians that applied Leeds as their first choice, their application still has 'processing' as the status. Well, it's not technically 'rejected' but the system did warn that 'processing' also means that no offer will be given. All the rest who picked Northumbria, UWE Bristol, Nottingham and even 2nd choice of City Law School has been given an offer. I could put any of those choices but I've decided early on that it's either Leeds or Manchester. London is a nono because it's too expensive for my finances while I don't really fancy staying in other cities. Actually I got accepted for part-time at Leeds but that was of no use because Post-Work Visa is gonna be scrapped soon. As I had said before, if I don't get any of the full-time offer at all, I would take it as God's answer for me to return back to Malaysia.

For the past week, I've been hoping that it could just be an admin fault. A part of me just wants the ball to be in my court for me to make the decision. However, I know very well that it is ultimately God's decision in where to place me rather than what I want to choose for myself. I know I'm setting myself up for a high risk of not entering into the English Bar Course when I limit myself only to two institutions. But I'm adamant to hold that if I'm paying that much to do Bar, I want to be in a place where I really want to stay instead of just entering any Bar school for the sake of it because some of it are actually not as reputable as it should be. Leeds was first in my choice because of the network of friends that I have made and I want to develop it further. Manchester was the only alternative because it was the cheapest. I would definitely have picked London if I'm rich enough but alas, I recognise that I'm not. A 'Barrister' title is delicious when it is included beside your name in the future but I'm not gonna bleed my mother financially dry to go somewhere that I do not feel strongly about.

I phoned up the Leeds centre earlier and received my answer that it's not an admin problem. It is indeed true that all the Malaysians did get rejected from the pool of Leeds for the Bar application. And I was told that if I want to try again, I would need to wait until April for the clearing and not even the first choice reasoning that I had placed in the first round could help in the application. In other words, chances are slim for clearing. And not getting a reply for Manchester also meant that an offer was also not given there. This is annoying, because I wasn't rejected outright and there's still a chance in the clearing. This meant also that the door is half-closed. Not totally. I'm effectively forced to push all my Inn applications to later if I somehow got in the future. And I can't even make plans to travel home to Malaysia for good because I have to make sure that all doors are effectively closed in the clearing period. It seems that many of these applications were not taken up during the first round, so there may be a chance to enter Manchester given that they have close to 200 over places.

Anyways, on Sunday in church, we learned about feeling bold to really narrow down our prayer requests to specific things to really see the direction that God wants to move us in. So, this made me even more determined that I made the right choice in narrowing it down as tight as possible just to discover whether it's God will for me to stay in England for another year and not whether I myself wanted to do the Bar course. So dear Lord, is my work for you in England completed? Please give me an affirmative answer. I hope You'll answer it soon in April.

In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps - Proverbs 16:9