Singapore Christmas

I'm back at Singapore for the moment to clear some of my things and settle some stuff. I reached this morning at about 7 am or so. Today's queue at the immigration quite long...haha. I got lots of old people complaining about the slowness of the immigration officers. Well, for the past few years, coming back to Singapore slightly before Christmas meant that school is starting soon and I have to get ready for the dreaded 2nd or 3rd January. But not this time! I'm a free man now and I can slack as much as I want during this Christmas. There are no obligations, no homeworks and no pesky tests to study for!On the other hand, I definitely had a big task ahead in packing and selecting the stuff in my room that I want to bring back to Malaysia.

Oh, my trip back to Taiping this time is rather fruitful, with Astro, telephone and internet being set up already at my grandfather's house. Haha, at least I'm still in touch with the globalized world during my time there. On deciding when to go back, I think I'll pick a date just right after 1st Jan or so to avoid the crowd. Right now, time to plan for the transportation of my stuff..lol.

Going across temporarily

I actually wanna write a tribute post but then with so many packing going on, I really dun have the time. Besides, I'll still be coming back to Singapore for Christmas and then I have to shift a second load of things across. So, I guess the tribute post would have to wait till a little later after Christmas since that's the time where I'm going back to Malaysia for good..haha.

The crux of change

Many Singaporeans that I come across may not have known or even have the hint that I was a Malaysian. Well, now you do. It was a two-day process in undergoing the turning point, coz I kept waking up late in the morning and people need to eat lunch. Anyways, let me give a lil' background information on the stuff that leads to this pivotal decision that I have to make.

At 18 years old, I am presented with a very interesting choice of doing either Singapore National Service (being a Singapore PR 2nd Generation) or Malaysian National Service (being a Malaysian citizen). Given the circumstances, I had to either give up being a Singapore PR or the other choice, ceased being a Malaysian citizen, do the Sg NS and become a Singapore citizen instead. In my circumstances also, this meant that there is no middle ground footing of still being a Singapore PR and a Malaysian at the same time. Following my heart and holding steadfast to my core identity, I opted to be with my good old home country, Malaysia.

Well, some people may see my choice as being silly or even insane since I very well know what my country is quite famous for among the Chinese community. But, I would like such people to stop a while and reassess the situation as seen through my eyes. The reason why I end up in Singapore in the first place has got to do more with fate than choice. My family is kinda in a rojak state because my papa didn't take the responsibility to be a proper father. When I was 10 years old, I was forcefully taken out of Malaysia into Singapore just to escape his harassment. In taking up the PR status, it was an adult choice too. Thus, my family did not come to Singapore because of socio-economic reasons or that we hated Malaysia for certain policies. Being in a single parent family plus being middle-income Malaysians, it's not that easy living in a country with a high living cost. We are unlike other well-off rich Malaysian Chinese who see Singapore as a haven and where they have the financial capabilities to enjoy life in the country. This is to say that if my papa had been a more sensible man, it's a definite zero percent that I have anything to do with Singapore in the first place.

Another area which I drastically had to change was also culture. I come from a Cantonese family, so Cantonese is my lingua franca or the language that I commonly speak at home other than English. I never did study Mandarin in depth since my family rarely use it. I studied in a National Primary school, where Malay is the first language and I studied my Maths and Science in Malay. In coming to Singapore, you can see how everything had to change when I entered the Singapore primary school at its peak at primary 5. When I first took the entrance test, I dun even know what "fraction" means. Nevertheless, like I said before, it's fate that I'm suppose to end up in Singapore at this period of my life. It's still to my surprise that I could adapt very easily and even scored straight As for PSLE. It was especially strange in a neigbourhood school that the one and only Chinese in a Malay mother tongue class always end up getting the highest marks in the Malay language. Unlike my other Malaysian counterparts that settled in Singapore, Malay has never been a problem for me and I even went to take Higher Malay at secondary school (something which only pure Malaysian scholars usually do). In addition to that, I did not struggle much with the change from Malay to English for my subjects and my English level and writing improved so much that I’m very comfortable in studying English Literature. So, in terms of languages, one can see how I am very different from many Singaporean Chinese youths at my age - I speak English, Malay and Cantonese but have no whatsoever knowledge in Mandarin.

I have to say that close to 90% of my relatives are all settling in Malaysia. There isn't much relatives that I know of in Singapore. Almost all my aunties, uncles and cousins are in Malaysia. I really can't bring myself to say the oath in Pulau Tekong or even to change my citizenship. I’m not going to surrender my 2 years of life plus additional reservice days just because of the mistakes that my parents had made. I can't throw away memories of my core Malaysian identity that made me who I am today. I lived my first 10 years of my life and childhood in Malaysia with probably 7 years of being conscious. But yet this first 10 years continue to leave an impression on my soul as compared to the last 8 years that I spent in Singapore. To me, my childhood years and experience in Malaysia is irreplaceable. I'm proud to speak Bahasa Malaysia and Cantonese. I like my fried black carrot cake and char kway teow to be salty. I was born in a Cheras hospital, not KK hospital.

I would say that I remain emotionally attached to Malaysia and I’m not one that would betray my conscience. Malaysia is famous for certain policies but I must reiterate that she is not the only country in Southeast Asia to do so. Looking at the examples of the Burmans vs. the Karens and other minorities in Myanmar, Indonesia and Thailand, there are plenty of ethnic nationalism clashes around the Southeast Asian region. So, let's face it, this is Southeast Asia, just suck it up and strive to improve the situation instead of running away from the problem. In Singapore, this ethnic nationalism is less severe considering that the dominant race makes up 75% and the biggest minority race numbering less than a million. The political situation in Malaysia is quite shitty now but then the haphazard and relaxed way of life is what I always admired about my home country. I’m glad to see that Malaysians have the courage to stand up for democracy rights, something which many Singaporeans would not contemplate to do so. Well, Singapore is highly organized and clean but sometimes I would term it as “ruthless efficiency” where little leeway is given to slackers and at times humanistic emotions. For me, I prefer a less stressful environment to live in where I’m not constantly being pressured to produce results from studies to work. I want a life where I have the time and space to slowly plan for the future and develop my hobbies instead of being rushed around like a mad dog.

Ok, so that’s a real long entry..haha. Anyways, I’m really glad to be back home in Malaysia. As the Malay saying goes, “Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, lebih baik di negeri sendiri”.

NYJC Prom Night 2007

Well, yesterday's the dinner event I have been preparing for the whole night long. This is probably the last NYJC event I will ever attend. I met up with Tai Guan first at AMK Mrt and I kept having the notion that it would be held at the Fullerton. So, we reached there about 6.20 pm and not alot of people were there yet. TG phoned Joanne and she said she's still on the way in a taxi. We waited for quite some time when I realised that something is quite amiss that we still don't see any NYJC students around. I phoned Joanne again and was told that the event was at Mariott, which was at Orchard. Paiseh!!! I dunnoe why I keep thinking it's Fullerton..lol..maybe it's last year's event.

We quickly chiong to the MRT and thankfully we reached the venue in time. Actually, we had a bloody hard time finding Mariott in the first place when it was just located right beside tangs..lol. Anyways, we are not the slowest lar. When we came out of the train, we saw Fred lingering around the station plus many of them were busy snapping photos at the lobby. But then my brother took the camera for his "yearly trips" to Japan and so, I'm only left with my handphone camera at best or I have to depend on others for photos. I was surprised to see Johny there as the candidate to replace Matilda. Mat should have given the place to Sandeep cos Johny as usual looks very out of place. There was no attempt at dressing up and Johny don't give a damn whether its prom night or pasar malam night since he dozes off at almost every opportunity.

The dinner itself started quite late, at about 8 pm. Btw, I dun see any pre-dinner activities around..haha. The MC himself is super corny, some of the lamest jokes came from him but he's entertaining. The food is pretty alright, I found myself gobbling down some snails repeatedly. Initially I was not really sure what that black thing was but it tasted like some clams or seafood. I found out later that it was snails. Ok, if I had known it was snails earlier, I wouldn't have bite it. The duck and chicken that they serve was great but I think the soup was too watery.

Here's the fun part, I'm gonna comment on the dressings of the people that I come across..lol. It seems that Admin will forever dun change. For the whole two years, he dun wear formal black shoes to school. Now at the official function, the slacker does the same. Well, obviously many girls dress up very beautifully. Haha, seriously, many of them looked so differently in prom dress as compared when they are in school. Some were quite revealing but they were elegantly dressed. Being surrounded by so many, it was quite a eye candy feast for me :) .

Hitman Movie

After church, I went with Shi Xian to catch the Hitman movie. It's great to watch the movie with a fellow Hitman game player. Afterall, it was Shi Xian who introduced me to play Hitman in Sec 1 and yea, I was very mesmerized by Jesper Kyd's composition in Hitman 2: Silent Assassin. The orchestra music composed by Jesper Kyd really struck the ideal chord, with the mafia theme in Sicily being one of the outstanding ones. Well, like all the video games that are being made into movies, the Hitman movie unfortunately falls into the same trap as the others.

The concept of the movie was great, as in how Agent 47 carries out his assassination and his killing methods. Nice to see Diana and the Agency appearing..lol. However, the storyline is just terribly weak and confusing. The plot is rather haphazard and there ain't much to say about its link with the game itself. The villains ain't that interesting as those in the game plus Agent 47 is sometimes portrayed as some Rambo fella. Of course, if Hitman is to be played in the game as like in the movie, you can forget about getting the Silent Assassin rating..haha. In my opinion, I think they should just take one of the plots in the game, like the meat king level in Hitman: Contracts. That level, is really one of the creepiest, sick and most violent thematics I have ever encountered in video games. The highlight in that level is the room with the upside-down hanged corpse, cult-like altar and some disturbing oldie love music. And the concept in that level is what makes the Hitman franchise stands out. So, maybe the fans should wait for Hitman movie 2 and hopefully they put one of the game plots together? Haha, anyways, I'll stick with the Agent 47 in the game and I'll be eager to get my hands on Blood Money once I manage to get my new laptop =p

Last day at CP

Today marks the start of the revolutionary change in my life. Well, it's my last attendance and I concluded my association with CP. When I first came to Singapore, it was Auntie Gillian and Joshua who introduced us to the church. So, I kinda spent the first two years in Praise Kids and yea, it was pretty cool stuff there. Then, my first year in CP youth was alright, but as the years progresses, I find myself struggling to actually connect with the people there. I tried really, to be part of them but for some reason or so, I just find them to be too cliquish. They are very good at starting things up but the follow up is really bad. It's like, they only pay attention to those that are in their clique and if you are outside (like Joshua and my bro), too bad. At times, I feel like I dun really belong anywhere in the church. During Christmas times and so, I felt quite isolated. Part of the reason why I stopped going to cell group is that I just find that my time spent is really going nowhere. There is some massive difference between my personality and the general personality of the people there. I accept that people that I come across would always be different but seriously, this is beyond the subjective nature of human. In my opinion, I just find the people at CP youth to be rather immature at times, playful, havoc and not serious bout life. The things that they talk about in conversation is out of my domain and sometimes can be very silly stuff. It's like me and them are at totally different levels of wavelength.

After 7 to 8 years in there, I came to the conclusion that the only sensible people that I have gotten to known from CP youth are like Rachel Lim, Christabel, Karen and Jonathan Wee.
I really respect Rachel especially, there's just this uniqueness in her that makes her stand out among them. Maybe it's because our thinking are quite alike (many of our interests are very similiar), but seriously, it's hard to find someone with such a sensible line of thought. Her outlook on life is particularly interesting and one thing for sure, the way she lives her teenage life is admirable. Not many girls in the modern world now could share the same sensible outlook in life as her. Ahaha, she reminds me a little of Elizabeth Bennet.

Anyways, with the end of my time at CP, I guess it's time that I reorganize my Christian life. I really want to be in a church where I can easily establish friendship bonds with my fellow Christians. The contrast is especially drastic when I was a guest at Mr Mao's church. I instantly could click with the youth down there quickly. There's this air of easiness and yea, just whip out some instruments and then we can get along very well. I grateful that people like Daniel Wee and Zelig has taught me drums, but unfortunately, there ain't much follow up in terms of friendship and again we think at different wavelengths. Even the other members in the church, I feel that there's some sort of social class gulf as many of them are pretty well off and have complete families. So, since mine is quite rojak and we're not that super rich, quite hard to connect with them. This is unlike my time in the Penang and Petaling Jaya church in Malaysia during my younger days. In Penang and PJ, the people down there really dun care what kind of background you're from and they really take the effort to have meaningful fellowship with one another regardless of background.

Well, at the end of 7 years, I'm just glad that I could get a fresh new start in my Christian life when I go back to Malaysia. It's very tiring to keep going to a church where you seem to be non-existent to the other members.