Last day at CP

Today marks the start of the revolutionary change in my life. Well, it's my last attendance and I concluded my association with CP. When I first came to Singapore, it was Auntie Gillian and Joshua who introduced us to the church. So, I kinda spent the first two years in Praise Kids and yea, it was pretty cool stuff there. Then, my first year in CP youth was alright, but as the years progresses, I find myself struggling to actually connect with the people there. I tried really, to be part of them but for some reason or so, I just find them to be too cliquish. They are very good at starting things up but the follow up is really bad. It's like, they only pay attention to those that are in their clique and if you are outside (like Joshua and my bro), too bad. At times, I feel like I dun really belong anywhere in the church. During Christmas times and so, I felt quite isolated. Part of the reason why I stopped going to cell group is that I just find that my time spent is really going nowhere. There is some massive difference between my personality and the general personality of the people there. I accept that people that I come across would always be different but seriously, this is beyond the subjective nature of human. In my opinion, I just find the people at CP youth to be rather immature at times, playful, havoc and not serious bout life. The things that they talk about in conversation is out of my domain and sometimes can be very silly stuff. It's like me and them are at totally different levels of wavelength.

After 7 to 8 years in there, I came to the conclusion that the only sensible people that I have gotten to known from CP youth are like Rachel Lim, Christabel, Karen and Jonathan Wee.
I really respect Rachel especially, there's just this uniqueness in her that makes her stand out among them. Maybe it's because our thinking are quite alike (many of our interests are very similiar), but seriously, it's hard to find someone with such a sensible line of thought. Her outlook on life is particularly interesting and one thing for sure, the way she lives her teenage life is admirable. Not many girls in the modern world now could share the same sensible outlook in life as her. Ahaha, she reminds me a little of Elizabeth Bennet.

Anyways, with the end of my time at CP, I guess it's time that I reorganize my Christian life. I really want to be in a church where I can easily establish friendship bonds with my fellow Christians. The contrast is especially drastic when I was a guest at Mr Mao's church. I instantly could click with the youth down there quickly. There's this air of easiness and yea, just whip out some instruments and then we can get along very well. I grateful that people like Daniel Wee and Zelig has taught me drums, but unfortunately, there ain't much follow up in terms of friendship and again we think at different wavelengths. Even the other members in the church, I feel that there's some sort of social class gulf as many of them are pretty well off and have complete families. So, since mine is quite rojak and we're not that super rich, quite hard to connect with them. This is unlike my time in the Penang and Petaling Jaya church in Malaysia during my younger days. In Penang and PJ, the people down there really dun care what kind of background you're from and they really take the effort to have meaningful fellowship with one another regardless of background.

Well, at the end of 7 years, I'm just glad that I could get a fresh new start in my Christian life when I go back to Malaysia. It's very tiring to keep going to a church where you seem to be non-existent to the other members.